What's your depression story?

My everyday life is usually a rollercoaster ride of emotions that takes me up and down without a break or warning; social interactions and interpersonal relationships are my kryptonite and I am in constant struggle with myself to allow closeness and love while another part of me fights against it. All that takes so much space and energy that important daily tasks are no longer feasible for me. Last year I lost my job and decided to go to a daycare clinic to learn to deal with my problems. I got some good strategies and used several apps that should help me to implement them in my daily life (e.g. by writing down situations and related feelings and reflecting on them, or writing a positive diary to direct thoughts more positively). All in all, I think you could say that Bearable has helped me (and still does) to become more aware of my everyday life, listen more to what my body tells me, accept my feelings and fears, reflect on myself and situations – especially in a social context. It helps me to recognize important connections, become more optimistic, re-experience the feeling of self-efficacy – even more as I have the progress in front of my eyes.  Above all, it helped to recognize my needs behind all of this and to strengthen strategies by which I no longer feel so overwhelmed by my feelings that often.

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Still, 13 years later, I often experience delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations. Sometimes, I get confused with words and thoughts. I also suffer from major mood swings—some manias so high that I can’t sleep for days, and some depressions so low that I feel suicidal.

My advice is: Doctors often look for a history of symptoms of an illness before they’ll consider a diagnosis of any kind. A log of symptoms with dates, charts, medications, and factors will surpass an “I don’t know” any day. The more a medical professional knows about your history, the better informed they can be when giving you a diagnosis.